Have you ever felt like something just isn't right with a relationship or person you're around, but you can't quite put your finger on it?
Sometimes, our intuition and our bodies can give us subtle cues that something isn't quite right and that we are losing, or draining our vital life force energy by being in environments that are really needing a lot of energy from us to feel balanced. Here are some ways to tell if a relationship or person you're around is draining your energy, using intuitive nudges and your body's cues:
1. Pay attention to your gut feelings:
When you're around a draining person, your body may give you a "gut feeling" that something isn't right. You might feel a sense of discomfort or unease, a sensation around your stomach area, nausea, or a sense of making your body smaller (drawing your shoulders in, not standing upright, crossing your arms), even if the person seems nice on the surface. Trust your gut feelings and listen to what they're telling you, especially if you're noticing your body's response and seeing many of the behaviors mentioned above.
2. Notice how you feel after spending time with them:
Do you feel drained, exhausted, or unhappy after spending time with a particular person? This could be a sign that they're not the best energy to be around at this time and draining your energy. We tend to want to create an energetic balance wherever we are, and if the other person is 'taking' more energy than they are giving back to you, or you have to 'give' more energy than you're receiving in return, you feel the imbalance and you end up feeling drained. On the other hand, spending time with people who uplift and energize you will leave you feeling refreshed and happy, there is usually a balance of energy in some way or another.
3. Pay attention to any physical symptoms:
People who drain our energy can cause physical symptoms like headaches, stomachaches, allergies or even panic attacks. If you notice that you're experiencing physical symptoms around a particular person, it may be a sign that they're causing you stress on some level. I love using affirmations the moment I realize my body is showing symptoms around certain people, my go-to one is: "I am safe. I am always protected and taken care of.". I usually repeat it to myself in my mind, understanding that our bodies show our suppressed emotions quicker than we may realize.
“Practice listening to your intuition, your inner voice; ask questions; be curious; see what you see; hear what you hear; and then act upon what you know to be true. These intuitive powers were given to your soul at birth.” - Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés, "Women Who Run With the Wolves"
4. Notice any patterns or red flags:
As the saying goes: "We don't live life, we live patterns.". If you notice patterns of behavior that make you uncomfortable or red flags that something isn't right, pay attention to them. Trust your intuition and listen to what it's telling you. Most of the time people live the same patterns over and over again, so if your energy is being drained and your body is giving you clues through physical symptoms and sensations, it will probably be the same in the future.
Also, take the time to become aware of what draws you to people who may bring up old traumas or are not giving you anything in return energetically in the relationship. remember, here we're all about radical self-responsibility.
5. Trust yourself:
This might be the hardest one to do, I know, we are masters at gaslighting ourselves. Ultimately, the most important thing is to trust yourself and your intuition. If you feel like a relationship or person is toxic to your mental and physical health, it's important to trust yourself and take steps to distance yourself from them. Boundaries are key, and we'll be looking at how to set them in a healthy way in an upcoming post.
The book "Women Who Run With the Wolves" by Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés was a massive catalyst in my own healing journey to trusting my instincts more and tapping back into my innate wisdom and feminine power. I highly recommend it.
Remember, your intuition and your body's cues are powerful tools that can help you identify people, relationships, and environments that are draining or enhancing your energy. Trust yourself and listen to what your body is telling you, and you'll be able to create healthy, positive relationships in your life.